Happiness seems to be something we are all craving, a deep inner joy that radiates from the inside out no matter what our circumstances. Over the past few years of self discovery and working with many beautiful beings I come to see that many of us are confused between happiness and pleasure. Which is easily done in the fast pace pleasure seeking society we have somehow become part of which promotes external pleasure chasing activities that leave no room for stillness and the cultivation of pure inner happiness.
Pleasure typically passes, for example you enjoy a beautiful meal, you have the perfect partner, you visit your favourite holiday destination and then… you come home, your meal is gone and your partner leaves you. What happens when/if these things are taken away, I would suggest that you may become riddled with pain, anxiety and have a deep craving for more of the same.
Between the feelings of pleasure and pain we tend to look for distractions to avoid truly feeling what it is like to exist in a state of being – free from pleasure and free from pain. We may take medications, abuse substances, become addicted to accolades and participate in activities that start to numb the body from truly feeling and experiencing a life of being, a life of joy, a life of “being happy just for the sake of being happy”.
We work hard at cultivating more and more pleasure to simply avoid any sort of pain… we are conditioned comfort seekers, we hate feeling any degree of discomfort. If we are cold, we want to get warm, if we have a headache we want it gone immediately… so basically we don’t want feel unless it feels amazing.
Many of us will also sit in fear, guilt and safety to avoid actually having to confront and feel any discomfort or conflict stirred up by standing up and stepping away from these safe zones. Pain in all its forms however usually catches up with us in the end as it is part of the human experience.
So how can we cultivate more happiness and more joy? Iam talking the type that just radiates from our being because this is our true nature. Because as earthlings, its our birth right to radiate a consistent vibrational light, it was not intended for us to be earthlings merely here to seek extreme pleasure or extreme pain as part of our human experience.
We all have a right to pleasure don’t get me wrong… its amazing so enjoy it (and enjoy it a lot!), but just start to take note of patterns and pleasure seeking behaviour that will not bring you long lasting joy in this lifetime.
True happiness is not dependant on a thing, an experience or a person. Its lasting energy that is your baseline of being an energetic soul. It is the peace, serenity, gratitude and love felt when you are in awe of simply existing.
Recognising this difference will help you from simply filling your life up with stuff in the pursuit of pleasure or avoidance of pain. It will allow you to partake in activities that offer more stillness and balance, activities with less noise, activities that allow you to get bored and start to listen to your inner voice… perhaps with conscious listening you may have a realisation of how lonely, unsatisfied, hurt or destructive your self talk may be.
This for me has been the gem… the stillness. Through meditation, contemplation, solitude and nature, I have gotten to know myself and my patterning so well that I have been able to (and continue to) work through feelings and emotions as a source of growth and contentment. This brings you back to your true self, your vibrational being, the joy of which we all are.
Society today is becoming more and more disconnected, we have little time for reflection as we are constantly bombarded with external stimulates and distractions. Unless we wholeheartedly decide to stop, breath and ask the question surrounding truth and purpose, there is simply no time for this in our daily lives. These questions however are vital if you are seeking to follow your true calling. When you decide to do this… lasting happiness starts to drop in more frequently.
The message here, simply become aware of the difference between pleasure and happiness. Reflect on your pleasure activities and how you would feel if those things were taken away. Would you feel a sense of joy simply from your pure existence? Our answers to these questions will highlight where we need to do the real work.
Much love Willow x
Tips for cultivating true happiness:
- connection with purpose
- connection with like minded people
- simple living
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
Dalai Lama XIV